“I’ve got a pen … this one’s kinda old.”
The first of the 2008 presidential debates, as discussed by my friend Ryan and me. Hyperlinks were added later, and it’s been edited down to just the better parts.
Ryan: mccain is terrible
Joey: so tell me …
Ryan: like awful at debating
Joey: did he not just criticize his Sharpie for being “kinda old”?
…
Joey: he dropped the miss congeniality thing twice
…
Joey: hey, point to mccain
Joey: the next president isn’t going to have to decide about going into iraq
Ryan: what’s the total score?
Joey: mccain: 1
Joey: i stopped counting for obama
…
Joey: oh, i see. “in military usage, a distinction is made between strategy and tactics” according to dictionary.com
Joey: this was a sideways POW reference
…
Joey: it would be awesome if we got a side shot and saw mccain using a blackberry
Joey: “next lead question. sen. mccain, how do you feel about the fact that gmail is still in beta?”
…
Ryan: did mccain get his suit from target?
Joey: that tie hurts my eyes.
Ryan: yeah
Joey: this isn’t the kennedy/nixon debates
Joey: his people should know better
Joey: this is like the blue screen thing
Joey: i mean. fire everyone. hire lucasarts or something
Ryan: lol
Joey: he paid a ton of money for one of the american idol makeup artists
Joey: and look at that hair
Ryan: really?
Joey: apparently
Ryan: well
Ryan: he needs to look 4+ years away from death
Ryan: god that’s terrible
…
Joey: “you don’t say that out loud”
Joey: “you talk diplomatically with the pakistani president, while secretly attacking the country”
…
Joey: uh … time?
Joey: we need a play clock on the screen
Ryan: no, when he talks about his experiences in vietnam
Ryan: he has a green light
…
Joey: war of the bracelets
Ryan: yeah this is bad
Ryan: oh man
Ryan: they’re gonna take it outside
…
Joey: existential?
Joey: really?
Joey: Camus says, “Yeah, well. Whatever.”
Ryan: sartre told him that
…
Joey: mccain is doing tic-tac-toe
Ryan: think he’s winning?
Joey: no
Ryan: ha
Ryan: i bet
Ryan: he’s REALLY good at tic-tac-toe
Ryan: having had 5 years
Ryan: to play it in his head
Joey: good point
…
Ryan: YES
Ryan: i want to see them wrestle
Ryan: obama is younger and fitter, but i bet mccain is really scrappy
…
Joey: i sincerely don’t get our position on Georgia
Joey: apart from simply being nostalgic for the cold war
Joey: oh, obama’s just stealing my lines now
…
Joey: obama just interrupted mccain to give the floor back to lehrer.
Ryan: hehe
Ryan: obama looked like he wanted to go ballistic
Ryan: he was reciting a mantra or something to calm himself down
Ryan: he was trained by mr. miagi, while mccain was trained by cobra kai
Joey: sweep the leg, johnny
…
Joey: oh, i see
Joey: “senator obama doesn’t get it”
Joey: from obama’s “john mccain doesn’t get it” speech
Ryan: lol
Ryan: it sounds like a campaign ad
Ryan: “senator obama just doesn’t get it”
…
Joey: did …
Joey: mccain just compare obama to bush?
Ryan: no
Ryan: i think
Ryan: he worded it wrong
Ryan: i think he meant
Ryan: that the stubborn-ness was obama’s
Joey: i’m pretty sure that’s not what he said
Ryan: not bush’s
Joey: i mean
Joey: i’m pretty sure he said that obama shares that stubbornness with bush
Ryan: his stubborn-ness during this invasion
Ryan: errr
Ryan: during this admin
Ryan: about the surge
Joey: heh
Joey: POW!
…
Joey: no way they declined to let brianwilliams talk to sarah and instead gave us rudy
