Caution: Spam Ahead
Please kindly accept my apology for sending unsolicited mail to you I believe you are a highly respected personality considering the fact that I sourced your profile from a human resource profile database on your country. Though, I do not know to what extent you are familiar with events.
Well, I am Major Pavel Karpov, a Russian citizen. My friend and I was accused of stealing $230million from Mr. Bill Browder who was Blacklisted and expelled from Russia in 2005. Mr. Browder liquidated his Russian investments, paying off a $230million tax bill, and relocated his entire staff and their dependents to London, leaving a solitary secretary to manage the office of various shell companies here in Moscow. But in 2007 his Russian office was raided by the police, who seized seals and certificates, and few months later a court judgment was entered against Browder’s companies for an unpaid debt which he claimed he knew nothing about. That was when Browder called in Russia’s smartest tax lawyer, the late Sergei Magnitsky, who was jailed and unfortunately died after brief illness.
I am extremely in need of your assistance in this matter, since I am not allowed to travel out of Russia because of the recent happening. And please you must keep this as top secret if you are willing to help me to receive and deposit this fund in the bank on my behalf. I am willing to share 60%/40% with you if you are able to help me. I have the sum of $100million in a PRIVATE SAFE DEPOSIT overseas, I want you to help me put this money in Number bank in SWISSBANK and take your part of the money as I said. Upon receipt of the fund, I will send you a written letter for the disbursement of the fund and then you and I will share the money in this order: 60% will be for me, 40% will be for you. I have all the necessary legal documents that can back our claim we will make with the Private Vault House.
All I require is your honest co-operation to enable us seeing this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law And please contact me.
Kindly provide me with the following: Full name, age, occupation, phone number, address and fax number.
May I, Major P.? May I really? Oh boy!
How about this: I’ll just repost your email verbatim (done) and not make fun of you (too much) and we’ll consider it a favor from me to you.
(Side note: I am ever-so-slightly impressed by the Bill and Sergei back story, which is true. But, even if your fictional spam character is meant to be a panicky Russian, please at least pass it around to some of your spam friends for peer review before emailing it to a professional editor.)
I am Mr. Jimmy Roland, atelophiliac